To the Bone
by Random Little Imp
Summary: You work at a haunted house and as I turned the corner you scared me and I'm so very sorry for breaking your nose AU Jocelyn McCoy/Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Slow Burn, Halloween Writing Challenge, College AU, Friends to Lovers, in the closet, Non-Canonical Character Death, Marriage of Convenience, Divorce, Minor Character Death
1. Chapter 1

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this."

"Oh stop grumbling, you know you love this. Besides as my boyfriend you are obligated to take me to things like this." The small brunette smiled down at him as she finished applying the black and white face paint to his scowling features. "Stop pouting, you'll ruin the lines."

"Joce, I get that you want me to take you to the haunted house so you have someone to cling to while you scream in my ear, but why do I have to be in costume?"

"Because Leo, it's Halloween and it's your first night off in two weeks and I said so." She smiled at him as he sighed, but she didn't miss the slight quirk at the corner of his mouth.

Leonard stood up and went to the full length mirror in the corner of Jocelyn's bedroom to admire the overall look. He was wearing black sweat pants and a black hoodie with a full skeleton painted on them, front and back, in glow in the dark fabric paint. Even his face was painted to resemble a skull. "I have to admit, you did a fantastic job with this costume. Very accurate."

"Well I knew nothing short of perfectly realistic would do for my Med student boyfriend." She stood slightly behind him in a skimpy faerie costume that appeared to be trailing glitter everywhere she walked. "Do my wings look straight to you?"

Leonard stopped looking at himself and considered the girl behind him in the mirror. he turned to her with a determined look on his face, "Turn around, they are just slightly off." She did as she was asked and he nudged the wire framed wings strapped to her back just slightly to the left, leaned back to take another look and decided they were satisfactory. "There, perfect."

She turned back around and gave him a brilliant smile, "I'd kiss you but I don't want to ruin all my hard work before we make it out the door." Instead she put her fingers to her lips and blew him a kiss. he could almost see the glitter fly towards him from her hand. She really was covered in it. No need for reflective tape, he's be walking the streets with a literal disco ball. "Come on, we'll be late meeting up with Sara and Keith." She grabbed his hand and dragged him out the door of her small apartment and down towards the street.

The sidewalk was crowded with dozens of other college students dressed in a myriad of costumes ranging from humorous to grotesque, but they were all in good spirits as they made their way through town. When Leonard and jocelyn got to the next block a short and curvy blonde dressed as a "sexy bumblebee" complete with wings and a stinger began to wave enthusiastically. The tall, thin scarecrow standing next to her was less excitable but did give the pair and wide smile. "Oh my god Joce, you look amazing!" The blonde practically screamed once they had reached each other.

"You look bee-utiful to Sara!" The two men groan audibly at her pun, but the girls barely noticed them.

"Looking good Keith, is that real straw?" Leo poked at the tufts of tan grass sticking out from every conceivable spot on the scarecrow costume.

"Naw, its synthetic. The real stuff makes me itch." Leonard nodded his understanding. "So we ready for some Halloween thrills and chills girls. I hear they went all out on the theatrics this year. Even brought in actors from last month's Ren Fest to fill out the cast of spooks."

"I don't know guys, what if it's really scary. I can't even watch a whole horror movie without running from the room." Sara grabbed Keith's arm and and pouted up at him.

"Don't worry babe, that's why you've got me." Keith gave her a squeeze. For all their differences Leonard couldn't think of two better paired people. He almost envied them.

He loved Jocelyn, but sometimes he didn't quite understand how they were together. Like two puzzle pieces that look like they fit together but the edges didn't quite fit completely. They had been together for a couple of years now, and both their families seemed to be waiting for the day they would just settle down and get married. Even Jocelyn seemed to want things to go that way sometimes, but Leonard just couldn't see spending the rest of his life with her. He also didn't really see a reason not to though.

Jocelyn clung to his arm as they walked towards the warehouse that was being utilized for the night's festivities. The company that owned it had recently moved to a larger facility but decided to rent it out for the month before putting it up for sale. The story was that the owner was talked into this deal by his son who was a big fan of the holiday. The outside looked plain enough, just another warehouse among many, except for a large "Haunted House" banner hanging above the entrance and the blood drenched clown working the door. The four of them paid the admission fee and made their way inside the first room.

The room was simple enough, there was a witch and a cauldron sitting atop a fake fire. She cackled and spoke the scripted warning to wary travelers that they may not want to head further inside or lest they being driven mad from fright, and anyone with a heart condition or who was pregnant should head back now.

Jocelyn seemed to find it mildly amusing but Leonard thought he saw Sara grab onto Keith a little tighter as they made their way to the next area. This room was made up to look like a torturous prison, complete with screaming electric chair victim. While the lighting tricks and sudden yells from the actors got a jump out of the four here and there Leonard was finding the whole thing rather tame and mildly amusing.

The next area was the insane asylum, lobotomies and even a rack were present there. Then came a cave like area complete with live snakes and lizards crawling about, yet carefully housed to keep them separate from the guests. As they were more than likely borrowed from a pet store or reptile show and it wouldn't do to have them stepped on by guests. Sara and Joce seemed particular scared of them and grabbed onto their respective dates as they made their way through.

It was the next room that put Leonard on guard. It was a fog filled graveyard inhabited by the living dead. The makeup was extraordinary, dead eyes and flesh hanging off, there were even a few missing limbs and hands reaching up from the ground. The dead coming back to life had always unnerved him, maybe it was the doctor in him that didn't like it. Death was natural, this was not, but it didn't make it impossible.

Leonard was pushing through the room with determination, trying to hide the panic rising in his chest. He wanted to run, but that would not work being in a group as he was. They were almost to the end of the area and Leonard's eyes were focused on the ground as a crawling zombie reached for their feet when a hand reached out from behind him and touched his shoulder with a moan. Leonard reacted without thought, swinging around and punching the zombie right in the face.

The zombie yelled and fell backwards, his hands reaching to his face as blood started pouring out of his nose. "Fuck!"

"Oh shit, I am so sorry. I-I don't know what came over me. Jesus." Leonard fumbled over his words in his embarrassment. He reaches down to help his unwitting victim back to his feet. "Let me take a look, it might be broken."

Zombie guy stands and gingerly touches his nose while looking towards the ceiling, "Oh yeah it's broken.I can tell. It's not the first time, probably won't be the last either."

Leonard is pretty sure that zombie guy is smiling as the blood trickles down his face. "I really am sorry."

"Don't sweat it, occupational hazard. I usually duck faster than that." Zombie guy tries to wave him off before the next group comes through but Leonard is still upset with himself for overreacting so badly. Meanwhile Keith is laughing quietly at the scene while Sara whimpers slightly as the whole fiasco hasn't stopped the rest of the Zombies from doing their jobs.

"At least let me set it for you, I'm a Med student, should be easy enough. Do they have a First Aid kit around here somewhere?" Leonard offers.

Zombie guy eyes him for a moment while Jocelyn nods enthusiastically from behind Leonard. "Yeah okay, I think there's one backstage." He reaches into the blackness behind him to find the hidden door latch that opens up the wall unto a brightly lit hallway.

"You guys go ahead I'll catch up with you." Leonard tell the others as he heads through the opening into the backstage area behind zombie guy.

They walk down the hall a ways till they turn around a corner and come to what seems to be a changing room. Old metal lockers line the walls with new padlocks on them, obviously being used by the cast members to hold their things while they work. There is also a couple long metal benches running down the middle of the room with a tall metal table sitting between them. On the table,amongst the many stage makeup kits, Leonard spot the telltale red cross symbol on a white plastic case and grabs it as zombie guy takes a seat. He throws back the hood of his costume to reveal short, dirty blond hair that seems to have a bit of curl to it. He sighs as he kicks his feet out, he must have been standing in that alcove for hours now.

Once Leonard gets what he needs from the First Aid kit he walks over to stand in front of zombie guy who opens his legs so Leonard can get closer. He stares up at Leonard, calm and unbothered by his presence, or the hands on his face. Leonard looks him in the eye, which are a pale greenish-white from the zombie contacts, places his fingers gingerly on the sides of his nose, "On the count of three, ready?"

"Go for it man." zombie guy gives him a slight grin as he stares up at him.

"One...two…", he pops the cartilage back into shape, "three."

"Ow.. I thought you said on three." Zombie guy whines a bit as Leonard places some tape on his nose to hold it in place.

"They say it hurts less if it's a surprise." Leonard heads into an adjoining bathroom area and washes the zombie makeup off his fingers. "You might wanna wash some of that blood off your face now."

"Naw, it adds realism to the look." He shoots what Leonard can only describe as a brilliantly bright smile at him, and he stops breathing for a second. "I'm Jim by the way, Jim Kirk, and I must say it was a pleasure to get hit in the face by you Bones." He stands and heads towards Leonard with his hand out stretched.

"Bones?" Leonards looks quizzically at Jim who just points down at Leonards costume with a grin. Leonard chuckles a bit, having forgotten he was even in costume, and takes Jim's hand giving it a hearty shake, "Name's McCoy, Leonard McCoy." If he holds onto it a little longer than he should no one seems to mind.

The two men stare at each other for a moment in comfortable silence, then suddenly Jim lets go of his hand and turns towards the hallway. "Well Bones it's been great, but we should get you back to your friends."

"Yeah, yeah you're right. How far do you think they got?" Leonard tries to hide the blush creeping up to his cheeks by pretending to look at his watch. They suddenly hear what can only be described as a blood curdling scream from down the hall a little ways. "Well, that sounded like Sara."

"I think it came from the spider room." Leonard wasn't sure how but Jim seemed to get a little paler at the realization. "Uhm," he started hesitantly to point down the hall towards the sound,"It's this way." They get a little ways down the hall to a door with a post-it note on it stating 'Spider room'. "Just head on through there, and you'll find them easy enough."

Leonard couldn't help but grin a little at Jim's obvious discomfort, "You're not coming?" Jim's eyes got a little wider and his mouth opened as if to speak but no sound came out, "A zombie afraid of spiders, never would have guessed." Leonard slapped him on the shoulder as he turned to open the door. "It's alright. I got this. Take care Jim, and remember next time, duck!"

Later that night when he and Jocelyn are alone, if it was someone else's smile he was thinking of while he came he didn't dwell on it.

Leonard had never had any doubts about his sexuality, he was bi. It seemed so simple to him, both genders had their own set of positive attributes and why cut yourself off from half the world's pleasures. Unfortunately it was something he learned early in life to keep mostly to himself till he was sure of the reactions he would get from the people around him. It wasn't that he was ashamed of it, he was just tired of getting beat up by small minded rednecks.

His college years had been a true eye opener for him, people he met in his undergraduate years were much more accepting and he did his fair share of experimentation. Having an intimate knowledge of the human anatomy and what it could do certainly made him popular with any of the willing partners he found.

It was in his fourth year that he met Jocelyn. She was a couple years younger than him and she just seemed to light up any room she was in. It certainly didn't hurt that she had come from a good southern family and that his parents loved her, and her family was thrilled at the thought of having a doctor in the family. It was almost a year into their relationship before he told her about his sexuality. It had scared him to death that she would reject him, that is why he waited so long to say anything. He sometimes wonders why he had decided to tell her when he did.

It was after a trip back to her home for her cousin's wedding. Everything was lovely, fresh flowers covered every conceivable surface, and Joce had been radiant in a baby blue sundress. Her mother and aunt were relentless though. Subtle hints towards when he might propose, and how lovely Joce would look in a flowing white gown. They even hinted at how cute their kids would be. By the end of the reception Leonard could barely walk a straight line from all the free champagne.

He wonders sometimes if he had told her after they got back to campus because he thought she might break it off, saving him from the enviable walk down the aisle both their families saw in the future for them. She was unpredictably open minded about it. She knew he was smart enough to be safe and as long as there was only her now his past didn't matter. Leonard had been both relieved and disappointed at her response.

Part of him believed that she knew about his misgivings. Sometimes he would look at her when she couldn't see him looking and he would see a sort of sadness in her eyes he couldn't find a reason for. Jocelyn never mentioned marriage or their future to him, and would shush her family when they would bring it up around them. He knew she thought about both, but in a wistful fantasy kind of way. It was as if she didn't see them staying together forever either, but not for the same reasons. He hated himself a little bit for that.

It had been a couple of days since the trip to the haunted house and Leonard had just about forgotten about the intriguing young man he had met there. Or so he thought. He was making a much needed trip to the grocery store to refill his cupboards as he had been too busy with work and classes to make sure he had food to eat when he say a familiar head of dirty blond hair in the produce section. "Jim?"

The man turned towards him and Leonard's breathe was taken away by the incredibly blue eyes staring back at him. It wasn't fair for someone to have eyes that blue, how could another person be expected to continue functioning properly while looking into those eyes. He was so taken by the color that he missed the confused look on the man's face for a moment. "It's me, Leonard. We met at the haunted house, I broke your nose."

Recognition dawned on Jim's face as his eyes went wide with delight. If Leonard had any doubt it was him, the smile that shone at him now prove it was. It also caused a slight tightening in his pants that he had not expected. "Bones!" Jim reached over and gave Leonard's should a good slap, "Man, I didn't recognize you without the face paint. It's good to see you man."

"Yeah, you to Jim." Leonard took a moment to actually look at the rest of Jim's face, new tape was placed on his nose and there was slight bruising under his eyes, which seemed to make his eyes brighter, they actually sparkled, how was this fair. Leonard needed to stop staring into Jim's eyes before the other man started to think there was something wrong with him.

"So you made it through the rest of the haunted house in one piece I see." Jim continued talking while Leonard tries to get a hold of himself.

"Well, I'm not sure that would be completely true. Sara, the bumblebee costume, actually hyperventilated and then fainted in the hospital horror room and we had to carry the rest of the way. Poor girl's studying nursing. I think she might be changing majors."

"Well you seem to have come through it alright, or did that room just give you ideas." Jim smiled at him, and Leonard could help but smile back.

"I might be a bit of a grump, but I'm not psychotic. Although I thought some of the spiders look cute enough to take home." He said it with as much of a straight face as he could while pretending to inspect the apples Jim had been picking through, all the while glancing in the corner of his eye for Jim's reaction. He wasn't disappointed, as the blonde gave a visible shudder before laughing off Leonards joke.

"That's not even funny Bones." Leonard couldn't help but let out a loud guffaw at Jim's discomfort. Maybe he was a little psychotic. Jim started to move towards the registrars at the front of the store, but Leonard wasn't willing to let him go that easily.

"Hey Jim, a few of us are meeting up at The Bad Penny tomorrow night for drinks and pool. You should join us." Leonard held his breath and tried not to look desperate as he waited for an answer.

"The Bad Penny? Sounds like my kinda place. Meet you there!" And with that Jim practically skipped away to go pay for his things.

Leonard was thrilled, he felt like he just asked out the cutest guy in school and got a date to the big dance. It took only a moment for the guilt and anguish to rain on his parade, it was not a date they were meeting up at a bar to hang with a group of people, including his girlfriend. What the hell was wrong with him, he should be avoiding the temptation not inviting it out for drinks.

To say Jim hit it off with Leonard's friends was an understatement, Jim just slid right into place with his close knit group like he had always been there. Leonard so learned that was normal for Jim, he seemed to have friends everywhere they went. And if by chance that wasn't the case, it wasn't long before Jim had befriended somebody. He was good with people, really good.

Of course there were those few who didn't appreciate the blonde taking attention away from them and Jim was never one to back down from a good fight. There were many nights Jim showed up on Leonard's doorstep beaten and bloody, looking to get his nose reset or his fingers taped up. On nights Leonard would work he would come home the next morning to Jim asleep on his couch. He was never quite sure how Jim would get in, but he never bothered anything so Leonard didn't make a big deal about it. He would just go to sleep and when he woke up Jim would have a fresh pot of coffee brewed and something cooking on the stove that smelled fantastic.

It went on like this for a few months, until Jim showed up on his step with a duffle bag and a black eye. Seemed he'd ended up on the wrong side of his roommates fist and was looking for a new place to crash. "It's just for a few weeks I swear. I'm planning on heading back out to Iowa come summer and then I'll be out of your hair." Of course Leonard let him stay. Somehow knowing he would be leaving soon, Leonard wanted all the time with Jim he could get.

His crush on the man had not abated at all, in fact it was turning into something else entirely. He couldn't even remember a time where he was thinking about Jocelyn and not Jim when they were intimate. Closing his eyes and imagining Jim was the one beneath him, moaning his name made Leonard thrust that much harder, last that much longer. Even his orgasms were more satisfying. Of course he didn't feel any less guilty afterwards either, and he'd swear to himself that the next time he would be thinking of her instead only to fail in the moment.

"Man, you guys are crazy. I need to hit the head. Don't go no where!" Jim was practically bouncing as he made his way from the table where Leonard, Jocelyn, Sara and Keith were sitting and laughing into their drinks. The bar was crowded and loud, a happy boisterous atmosphere, it was infectious and the small group of friends were feelings it's effects as much as anyone. After a few minutes of laughter and conversation their glasses became empty and Leonard rose from the table to order another round.

As Leonard was pushing his way through the crowd towards the bar he realized that Jim had been gone for awhile now. Too long for just a trip to take a piss. He headed over towards the men's room hoping he'd find the blonde chatting up some pretty girl along the way and nothing more insidious. As he got closer to the back hallway where the restrooms were located without finding Jim he started to worry a bit. Maybe he passed out in a stall or fell and hit his head. He heard some angry voices from inside the men's room as he got to the door, or Jim met some unfriendly types and was in trouble.

Leonard pushed his way into the men's room to find Jim with his back against the wall and his lip bleeding and swollen and three angry guys surrounding him. The three angry faces looked vaguely familiar to him but that was not his primary concern. "Hey guys! What's going on?" He tried to keep his voice light as he tried to move himself in between the men and Jim.

"This ain't none of your concern Leo, just head back out the way you came." The lead guy knew him and Leonard started to recognize him from his early college days.

"Well, now the way I see it, I'm a doctor, or almost, and this guy here seems to be in need of medical attention. So that would make it my business." Leonard stood his ground.

Jim leaned towards him, "It's alright Bones, I'm fine. You should go. I got this" Jim's voice was full of his usual bravado, but Leonard was not about to stand by and let him take a beating.

"You got this!?" The lead man barked out a laugh, "If you haven't noticed you're outnumbered pretty boy."

"Po-ta-toe, po-tot-toe." Jim shrugged at the guy.

"Let's call the whole thing off."Leonard added with as much finality as he voice could muster. He was sure he heard a slight giggle from Jim. The boy was shameless in the face of danger, and it drove Leonard nuts.

"Not a chance, first he turned my cousin gay and then breaks his heart. It's a matter of family pride." The lead guy bellowed with his two cronies nodding in agreement behind him.

"I didn't turn Julian gay, I was far from the first guy that he ever slept with, and he cheated on me with some red head he picked up at a strip club!" JIm yelled back, coming around Leonards side, finger pointing.

"Liar! He wasn't no fag till you batted those eyes at him and talked him into it. Tell him Leonard, you used to be friends with Julian back at Ole Miss." It was then that his recognition finally clicked.

"Friends? I don't know if I'd go so far as to call us friends, but he was a good lay." Leonard stated as matter of factly as he could. All eyes turned to him in shock at the sudden reveal. It was so quiet in the men's room in that moment that you could have heard the proverbial pin drop.

Flustered, but finally come back to himself the lead guy shook of his surprise, "You know what screw this, you faggots ain't worth my time. Come on boys, let's find another bar." And the three men pushed past Leonard and Jim and out the men's room door.

Leonard immediately grabbed some paper towels from the wall and wet them in the sink. And then headed over to where Jim was still staring at him and started to tend to his split lip. "Was that true?" Jim asked.

"Naw, he was a lousy lay, but you would already know that I guess." Leonard smirked, but kept his eyes focused on the wound.

"You saved me man, thanks." Jim smiled a bit more shyly than Leonard had seen before.

Leonard stopped his hands and looked Jim in the eyes, "You're welcome." They were a lot closer then he had thought. His hand on Jim's face and the alcohol in his system his body reacted to the closeness before his mind could argue. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Jim's, gently at first but when Jim opened his mouth to him he pressed in more determinedly. It was glorious, their lips fit together like puzzle pieces and his blood sang from Jim's returned desire.

But then it stopped, Jim pushed back, away from him and Leonard almost whined from the sudden emptiness. When he opened his eyes, Jim was looking down and away from him, and it dawned on Leonard what he had just done. "Joce…" he sighed as he looked at the ceiling and ran his hands over his face, disgusted with himself.

"I think it might be better if I crashed with Keith for the next few days before I leave." Jim didn't give Leonard time to argue against the idea and just headed out of the restroom.

"Fuck!" Leonard's heart sank. He had royally screwed this up.

It had been four days since the night at the bar. Jocelyn had wondered what could possible had been said to make Him move his things to Keith's house, but Leonard seemed so upset about it she decided not to pry. Their friendship had obviously taken a hit and the two men barely spoke before Jim headed off for the summer. She felt bad, it seemed as if Leonard had found a good friend in Jim, and he didn't have many.

She was hoping her news might be able to cheer him up a bit, or she thought, it could make things worse. Unfortunately it wasn't news she could keep to herself. She took a deep calming breath as she unlocked the door to his apartment and let herself in.

He wasn't in the living room or kitchen, but that wasn't much of a surprise. He had worked a late shift and was more than likely still in bed. As she made her way down the hall she heard a moan and the sound of Leonard moving in the sheets. His bedroom door was open a crack and she peeked in expecting to find him in the midst of a fitful sleep, perhaps a nightmare. What she wasnt expecting to find was him fucking his hand, his hips at a strange angle that indicated where his other hand was.

She blushed, as she watched him in this obviously private moment. Debating with herself whether or not to go help him out, her panties getting wet at the thought. What came next made her glad he didn't know she was there at all.

"Jim, oh god yes Jim, yes. Fuck." She saw him release all over his hand as he yelled, and her throat went dry.

'She heard that, oh god she heard that.' It was the only thing he had running through his mind.

Leonard had cleaned up and dressed before heading out of the bedroom to find Jocelyn sitting on his couch silently crying, and now he couldn't focus on anything else. It was like a deer in headlights. He had frozen mid-step and was just staring at her, waiting for her to hit him. And why wouldn't she after what had just happened, but she just sat there, her head in her hands, weeping.

"I didn't think it would hurt this much." It was barely a whisper, but he heard her easily enough. "I knew you weren't in love with me, I knew you would leave me eventually, but I never imagined it would hurt this much."

"Joce, I didn't want, I would never.." he fumbled for the right words to explain himself but he couldn't find them.

"How long?" She looked up at him, her eyes rimmed with red, defeat written across her face.

"How long for what?" Leonard asked.

"How long have you been together with him?" she sniffled as new tears threatened to spill.

Leonard finally moved and sat beside her, "No, Joce no. I never, we never. I kissed him once, he kissed me back I think, but that was it. He moved out, and then he left and nothing else happened, I promise you." He took her hand in his and squeezed tightly, trying to reassure her.

"Do you love him?" She didn't sound upset, but rather she sounded like she honestly wanted to know.

Leonard stared at her thoughtfully, not wanting to hurt her but she deserved the truth. "I don't know," he looked deep into himself before he spoke again, "I think I could but he's gone so it doesn't matter." he sighed and let his head slump down. He felt her other hand come up to his hair and card through it gently before she leaned over and leaned against his shoulder.

"Well aren't we a messed up pair." there was a sniffle but it sounded as if she had stopped crying. "I always knew you didn't love me like that. I had hoped it would grow with time, but it hasn't, has it?"

"No Joce, I'm sorry. You are a wonderful person, but you're right. I hate myself for it. You deserve better." he raised her hand to his lips and gave it a chaste kiss.

"We both do Leo. I think you two could have been great together if you had the chance. I wish I could just walk away and let you go, but I don't think I can do that. Not now." She stood up from the couch and began pacing in front of him as she spoke.

Leonard looked up at her confused, "What?" He had never taken her for the jealous type, what could she possible think he would do if she flat out refused to let him go. Just the thought of it was making him see red.

She looked down at him, grief on her face as she tried to smile, "I'm pregnant." With two words all the anger went out of him. He paled, and his mouth dropped open in shock.

As his mind worked though the information, all the possibilities for the future, a happy family, watching his child grow up,it all ran through his mind and he suddenly wanted nothing more than that. He slowly rose and walked to her gathering her up in his arms, "I'm gonna be a father." It was then that he kissed her, and all thoughts Jim fled from his mind, he was going to be a father and he was going to make this work.

He would have eloped with her if their mother's heads wouldn't explode at the mere thought, so he had to settle for them quickly planning a 'small' ceremony before Joce started showing. No need to fuel the gossip with talk of a shotgun wedding. Although their mother's combined efforts made for a ceremony that included everyone up to second cousins, and most of the folks in Leonard's hometown. Small for affluent Georgia he supposed. He was just glad to get it out of the way, if he was going to do this, he wanted it done right, marriage and then baby. They might have gotten a head start on the latter but they had time to squeeze in the former before it was too late. They both continued their studies and he had plans to take his residency in the area. It was a great city and Joce didn't want to leave so they found a modest two bedroom apartment and moved in together.

It was starting to cool off again as autumn returned and classes started up again and joce was starting to glow in her impending motherhood. They were out shopping one afternoon when Leonard spotted Jim from across the street. Of course he was back in town, Leonard couldn't believe he hadn't thought about that. He had seen the signs for the Ren Fest up all over town. Jim looked good even from a distance leonard could tell he was a bit more tan then he had been the last time they had seen each other. Perhaps he had been on the beach all summer. No, more than likely he was outside doing odd jobs for the past few months, that was more like Jim.

Leonard's heart lifted at the sight of the blond. A weight removed he hadn't even noticed was there, but now that it was gone he couldn't believe he hadn't noticed it before. Leonard waved at him, and was happy to get a smile and a wave back. Jim looked like he was about to cross the street to come over and talk when his face fell. It was just a split second but Leonard saw the disappointment as clearly as if he had held up a sign to point it out. At just that moment Joce came up beside him, her protruding belly bumping his elbow as she took his arm in hers. He turned to smile at her as she asked him if he was coming into the store. "I'm right behind you." he placed a soft kiss to her forehead and turned back to where Jim was standing.

He was smiling again, but not as brightly as he had been before. He nodded at Leonard, stuffed his hands into his pockets and turned to walk in the opposite direction, his head hanging low. Leonards heart hurt to watch him walk away, it hurt knowing he was the cause of his sudden turn in mood. He didn't want to hurt Jim, but he couldn't change things. He turned to follow his new wife as he felt the weight settle again in his chest.

Later that evening, Leonard sat on the floor of their living room trying to figure out what kind of demonic witchcraft was needed to make these instructions make sense. It was a crib, not brain surgery, why was it so complicated? He was a doctor not a carpenter, damn it. Jocelyn was sitting on the couch sorting through the baby gifts they had already received trying not to laugh at Leonard's frustration. "You've been awfully quiet this afternoon. Something on your mind, something other than the crib from hell?"

He looked up at her, trying to school his features as best as he could, that fact was he was distracted by his near encounter from earlier. "No, nothing. Just trying to learn greek here." He waved the instruction booklet in the air.

Jocelyn didn't seem to buy it though. She pinned him with a look that could make a hardened criminal spill all his secrets. Leonard sighed, "The Ren Fest is back in town." he stated simply and went back to staring at the paper in his lap.

"Oh?" She paused as the pieces fell into place, "Oh! Have you seen him?" She tried to sound casual, but it wouldn't have fooled anyone. There was worry in her voice.

"Earlier today, outside the furniture store. He was across the street." He looked up at her now, a new kind of sadness in his eyes, "He took one look at you and walked away."

"I always did like Jim. He's a good guy at heart." She sighed and walked over to Leonard and sat down across from him, "Are you alright?" The worry was back in her voice, "I want you to be happy, you know that right, even if it's not here." Her voice caught on her words as she tried hard not to get emotional. It was so hard for her at the moment, with all the hormones coursing through her.

Leonard looked her in the eyes, steely determination had replaced the sadness she had seen before. "I am happy, right here, with you. You are going to be a wonderful mother, and I'll be the doting father. We will be a perfect, happy family. There is nothing more I could want than that." He leaned forward and gave her a sweet kiss, "Now get off the floor before you catch your death."

"Yes mother." She laughed and tried to do as he had asked. After a couple failed attempts to get her feet under her she pouted, "I might need a hand though." It was Leonard's turn to laugh as he stood and went to help her up.

He had Leonard's back pressed up against the wall of the very same bathroom they had their first kiss in. The scent of spilt beer and stale piss filled his nose. This time was different though. There was a desperation in the kiss that wasn't present the in the last one. Their mouths fought for control, tongues lashing at each other as Jim's body pressed hard against Leonard's. Leonard's fingers were threaded in Jim's hair as he pulled to keep the other man's face to his, even as his hips bucked against Jim's tight grip. Grinding against each other for the agonizing pleasure of it.

Jim's hands released Leonard's hips and moved to undo the zipper on his jeans. Finally releasing him from the confines of his pants Jim's dropped to his knees and took his dick into his mouth. Leonard yelled out at the sudden feel of his wet hot tongue on him, Jim's cheeks hollowing out with each drag of his lips across Leonard's sensitive skin. Just when Leonard thought he would cum Jim was at his ear whispering, "Do you want me to fuck you Bones?" Jim's hand lazily stroking Leonard as he licked his ear. "Do you want to feel me inside you?"

"Yes, god yes," was all Leonard could get out before Jim was kissing him again.

They were naked as they fell back onto the bed, and Jim immediately went back to sucking Leonard off, but now he had two slicked fingers working him open as well. Jim added a third finger and began to curl them in just the right way to stroke Leonard's prostate. It wasn't long before the combine sensations brought Leonard to climax. Jim pulled his mouth off of him just before it hit and Leonard could feel the hot cum land on his stomach.

Jim wasted no time and climbed up between his thighs and slid into him like they were made to fit together. It was better than anything Leonard had experienced in his life, and when Jim began to move in a steady, smooth rhythm, moaning right into Leonards ear, he felt himself getting hard again. Jim's thrust started coming faster and Leonard could feel his balls slapping against him as the words practically fell from Jim's lips.

"Oh god Bones, I love the way you feel around me, so tight and warm. I love the way moan when I'm fucking you." Jim slowed for a moment to run a finger through the cum on Leonard's stomach, bringing it to his lips, "I love the way you taste. I never want to stop fucking you, but I'm gonna cum soon." Leonard could see the sweat glistening on their bodies, and the concentration on Jim's features as he tried to hold off his orgasm as long as he could.

"Fuck me harder Jim. I want to feel you cum in me. I want to feel it dripping down my thighs when I walk my rounds tomorrow. You feel so good." He pulled the other man down for a deep kiss, getting just a hint of his own flavor on Jim's tongue. "I think I might be in love with you Jim."

Jim thrust hard a couple more times groaning loudly as he emptied himself inside of Leonard. He fell over to the side and brought his lips right up to Leonard's ear, "What about Jocelyn?"

Leonard's eyes flew open to a dark room. It was not the same room he was in a moment ago. It was cold, and he could hear Jocelyn's light snoring beside him. She had stolen all the covers again. He had only been dreaming.

He rubbed his eyes and tried to wake up more fully. He sat up slowly, careful not to jostle the bed too much, it was then he felt the cooling, sticky mess on his stomach. He hadn't had a wet dream since high school and he was still painfully hard.

He silently made his way to the bathroom to clean himself up and take care of the unspent desire still building in his gut. This time imagining how it would feel to fuck Jim, bent over a bathroom sink, slamming into him over and over again till he came all over that ass, just so he could lick it off.

The guilt could wait till another day.


	2. Chapter 2

Life appeared to be going well for Leonard. Jocelyn was happy, even as she complained about swollen feet and constant trips to the bathroom. Leonard attended every doctor's appointment with her, staring in awe at the ultrasound pictures of the life growing inside her womb. Their child, their boy. He was happy, or at least as happy as he could be in this space. He had a loving wife and soon and beautiful baby would arrive to complete their family. What more could a person ask for.

Maybe he didn't love his wife the way a man was meant to love his partner for life, but he felt enough for her that he could smile and mean it.

He was still having the dreams about Jim. It wasn't every night, but they were frequent enough. Always different, always a perfect glowing moment in a 'what if' universe. It wasn't always sexual either, sometimes it was just the two of them together doing normal things couples do, cooking together, shopping together, celebrating something. Always together, always happy. A life that could have been, but never would be.

Leonard thought he should be more disturbed by these visions his subconscious kept coming up with, but instead he treasured them. It was like having both without the complications. He was starting to really look forward to going to sleep in hopes of a new episode of the Jim & Bones show playing out in his dreams. A shrink would have a field day with what went on in his head.

It was nearing the end of October and they were attending a baby shower that Sara had organized. It even had a Halloween theme to it, mummies and baby bottles full of green goo. It was rather disturbing if you thought about it too much, but Joce thought it was a fun idea so Leonard kept his mouth shut about it.

All their friends were there and everyone was having a blast with the goofy baby games. Leonard had lost his diaper pin in the first couple of minutes of the "Don't say Baby" game, not that he was really trying. Joce was currently seated in a large circle of women, opening presents as they were passed over to her as Sara took careful notes for the thank you cards. Leonard just hung in the background, it wasn't really his party anyhow, and watched as Joce held up each gift with a smile for him to see.

The door to the little banquet room they had rented opened across from where Leonard was standing and a very familiar head of blonde hair peeked in. After making sure he had the right room, Jim walked in, smiling a smile that didn't appear completely genuine to Leonard. He was holding a small gift and walked up behind Joce, placing a hand on one shoulder he leaned down and gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and handed her the gift. Jim stood by and watched as she removed the wrapping paper to reveal a little set of plush doctor's tools, some that rattled, others squeaked and Leonard was pretty sur he saw the glint of one of those plastic baby safe mirrors in the mix as well.

As Jocelyn held up the gift and all the girl exclaimed how adorable it was, Jim followed her line of sight and made eye contact with Leonard for the first time since entering. With another quick kiss and an awkward over the shoulder hug Jim wandered away from the group as the next gift was passed over. He made his way across the room to where Leonard was and reached out his hand. "Congrats man! I couldn't be happier for you. And Joce is just glowing."

Leonard took his hand and gave it a good shake, "Thanks. It wasn't exactly how anyone would have planned it, but we are all happy just the same."

Jim moved to stand beside Leonard, "So I hear you guys got hitched."

"Seemed the thing to do."

"Yeah, I suppose it was."

Both men just stood quietly, for a few moments. Leonard broke the silence first, "Do you ever think about the last time we saw each other?"

"Don't go there Bones." Jim sighed, "That is not a road we need to be going down."

"You're right."

They were silent again for a minute until Jim finally turned to him and gave his hand another shake, "Well I should go, just wanted to bring that gift by."

Leonard looked up at the man in front of him, "Thanks for that, it's cute." They both stared into the other's eyes, leaving so many things unsaid, the air between them was heavy with it, until Jim finally turned and left the party.

That night Leonard's sleep was filled with nightmares of Jim leaving. Every conceivable reason for the separation ran through his mind in vivid color. Anger, betrayal, death, even alien abduction, and it always ended in the same place. Leonard alone, surrounded by darkness and despair.

He was in the middle of a rather graphic scene of his hands inside Jim's chest, pumping his heart to keep the blood flowing when Jocelyn shook him awake in a panic.

"My water broke!" Leonard realized that he was lying in a puddle of fluid seeping into his sleep pants. "It's too early, oh god it's too early." Jocelyn was in a near panic, sobbing next to him.

William David McCoy was born in the early hours of the morning but did not survive to greet his first sunrise.

As far as his father was concerned the sun need not show it's face ever again.

A darkness fell over the world, and to Leonard, nothing mattered anymore. The joy in the world had left with his son. They had a service, of course, even if Leonard barely remembered it, it was a quiet event, the tiny coffin placed in the McCoy family crypt to sit out the rest of eternity.

After that he threw himself into his work, sleeping in the on-call room rather than going home. He couldn't bring himself to face Jocelyn's raw emotions. She had taken to spending her nights weeping alone in the now useless nursery, a small blue baby blanket clutched in her shaking hands.

It had been a month since they had been in the same room together when the lawyer showed up at the hospital with the divorce papers. He had barely looked at them before signing. He figured it was only a matter of time anyhow, it's not like it was a real marriage to begin with. The next morning he went back to the apartment to gather his things. Jocelyn was not there when he arrived, but she had left a note on the table beside the door.

Dear Leonard,

I know everyone says not to blame myself, but I do. I think maybe you do to. Or

maybe you blame yourself, I don't know. I just wish you would talk about it. If not

to me, to someone. My parents have returned all the gifts and I will be moving

out later this month. Feel free to stay, if you want.

As I have always said, I want you to be happy. I know it will never be with me,

so I am going to let you go. Take this as a chance to start over and find that

one person who makes you happy like I never could.

I hope one day we can be friends.

Jocelyn

Leonard packed his few things he cared about and left his keys on the table with the letter.

One would think that the universe wouldn't heap anymore bad on top of one person. You'd be wrong.

Just two months later Leonard's father fell ill. It was a rather virulent strain that there was no know cure for. There was nothing the hospital could do for him and he insisted on being at home with his family. Leonard had already moved back in with his folks after leaving the apartment, and he took over his father's care. In any spare time he had, Leonard worked with the hospital staff to try to find a cure, but ultimately the illness took too much of a physical strain on the elder McCoy and he begged his son for a dignified end.

"I'll be in a better place. I'll be with your boy Len, he needs someone up there to look after him. Let me do that for you."

Leonard felt the tears fall onto his hand as he reached for the button that gave his father the rest he asked for. When his father was finally at peace, Leonard walked out of his parents house and found the closest bar his feet could get him to.

It wasn't that late, but the bar was nearly empty. A tiny dive of a place, dimly lit and every surface covered in years of only patrons were older men who had been coming there for decades, and the crowd was getting smaller with each passing year. It was the perfect place to go when you didn't want to deal with your problems, and rather just lose yourself in the bottom of a bottle.

He was more than half a bottle of whiskey in when Keith and Jim finally tracked him down. Leonard's mother having called Keith after the coroner had left with the body, worried about what Leonard may do and not wanting to lose another family member so soon. Jim was with Keith when the call came and insisted on going along on the search.

"Leonard, your mom's worried about you. Why don't we get you home." Keith came up behind him and placed a consoling hand on his shoulder which Leonard just shook off before signaling to the bartender for a refill of his glass.

"Come on Bones, that's enough for tonight." Jim's voice was quiet but the reaction it got from Leonard was anything but. Not having looked up from the bar Leonard hadn't noticed him come in with Keith.

Leonard stood up from the barstool, back straight, shoulders tight and his hands balled into fists. If Jim took any notice of Leonard's demeanor it didn't show, as he didn't make any attempt to dodge the fist that came flying towards his face.

"This is all your fault!" Leonard screamed as he threw another punch to Jim's face throwing the other man back onto a table. Keith ran over to try to pull Leonard away but Jim waved him off.

"Let him get it out, he needs this." Jim reaches up to touch his face, "Damn Bones, i think you broke my nose again." The jest is lost on the other man, his anger completely clouding his mind.

"My life was perfect, then you show up with your easy smile and pretty eyes. You get into my head, work your way under my skin. You took my heart and left a trail of destruction in your wake." Leonard lands another body blow on Jim, but he is starting to tire "My marriage is over, my father is gone, my son is dead and you waltz in here like I mean something to you. I was fine before you came along." He takes another swing, but his fist flies wide and he loses his balance, falling to his knees.

"You're angry and feel like you need someone to blame for the shit show that your life became, I get that." Jim waves at the bartender as he begins to dial the cops, letting him know the fight is over. "I'll be that for you, I don't mind. I've been where you are, and I understand a little of what you're going through. So make me your punching bag if it helps you cope." leonard looks at him like he wants to hit him again, but the anger melts from his eyes when he sees the sincerity in Jim's face. He heaves a heavy sigh and slumps forward a little more and leans on his hands.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, and I don't think I'll be coming back here again." Jim crouches down in front of Leonard, holding his tender ribs as blood is dripping from his nose. "I promise you this Bones, if we ever meet again I'm going to give you a clean slate. We can pretend none of this ever happened. We can met again for the first time, start over. I won't hold a grudge."

"I hope I never see you again." Leonard grumbles under his breathe, but even he can tell that he doesn't really mean it.

"I hope you do." Jim says with a slight smile as he stands to leave.

"Next time, dodge faster." Jim stops for the briefest moment and lets out a small laugh at Leonard's words. He will recover from this, but it will be easier without Jim there. At least that is what Leonard hopes as the blond makes his way out the door and back onto the street.

Keith pays Leonard's tab and for the few broken glasses his fight caused and half carries him out to his car to take him home.

It's been years but Leonard seemed to finally be getting things back together. Well, sort of. After Jim had left, Leonard didn't just jump right out of the hole he was in, he actually dug a little deeper. He had thought having Jim leave would help, but it was just one more person he cared for that was gone from his life. When he had finally climbed out of his despair he found many bridges burned and a career in shambles. He managed to get a position at a small town Iowa hospital and began rebuilding his career. It was hard going and some of the other doctors didn't feel he deserved his second chance.

It was after and particularly trying day that Pike found him drowning his sorrows in some bad coffee and cheap pie at one of the few diners open late in the night. Starfleet was something he had heard about but dismissed easily due to his aviophobia. At this moment in time though the whole thing sounded like the perfect way to start over.

At least it had at the time. Now he wasn't so sure. He was content to stay where he was, hiding in the shuttle bathroom, taking small sips from his flask. Unfortunately not everyone liked his plan and they had started banging on the door. Being dragged out of there was certainly not the most dignified start to a new career, "I don't need a doctor, damn it, I am a doctor." Although it was better than being forcibly seated by the security officer half his size, not that he had any doubt that she could take him, easily. He grabs the last open seat only to look over and see a familiar face sitting beside him.

He's not sure Jim recognizes him at first, he's not exactly looking his best. But then neither is Jim. "I may throw up on ya."

"I think these things are pretty safe." There is a hint of recognition there and Leonard determines that Jim is playing true to his word, a fresh start, clean slate.

"Don't pander to me, kid. One tiny crack in the hull and our blood boils in thirteen seconds. Solar flare might crop up, cook us in our seats. And wait'll you're sitting pretty with a case of Andorian shingles, see if you're still so relaxed when your eyeballs are bleeding. Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence." Leonard can't tell if Jim is just humoring him, but he swears it looks as though he is trying not to laugh. Leonard isn't trying to be funny, he's actually pretty serious about what he is saying. Even though he knows that Jim would never worry about those things.

"Well, I hate to break this to you, but Starfleet operates in space."

"Yeah. Well, I got nowhere else to go. The ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I got left is my bones." He pulls out the flask as Jim makes a show of introducing himself. After taking a sip he offers it up to the blond.

Jim takes a sip and grimaces, "What is that? Grapefruit juice?"

"Yeah, what do you take me for, some kinda degenerate day drinker? It's good for you." Leonard takes another swig before placing it back in his coat pocket. "See you still haven't learned how to dodge."

Jim stares at him for a moment before breaking out in a loud laugh. "Didn't think you remembered me there for a second. Man it's good to see you again Bones."

Leonard smiles, "You too kid. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you." He stares down at his hands, "Maybe a bit more than I should have." He looks up at the younger man with hopefully eyes, only to be met with a look of, well he's not sure what he is seeing. It becomes clear soon enough though.

"Bones, I am glad to see you again, and I know I promised a clean slate but I'm not sure I can just forget about what happened that easily." Jim places a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Why don't we just stick with friends, alright?"

"Yeah kid," Leonard deflates a little, "I get it. Friends it is."

They spend the rest of the ride in a companionable silence. Disembarking and making their separate ways onto the campus that is to be their home for the next few years. Leonard is sure they will see each other around, and maybe he can work his way back into Jim's trust, he is certainly going to try. He can't be this close and not try, his heart would never forgive him.

He sits through the most boring intake speech he has ever been through, med school wasn't even this dry, and gets his schedule and room assignment. Sadly he is not given the single he requested and sees he's actually paired up with some fresh faced first year named Bradley, god he could feel the optimism of this guy oozing from photo included with the message. This was going to be hell.

Leonard made his way to his new room, happy to find his roommate had yet to show up. A few moments of peace was about all he would get for the next four years, and he wanted to enjoy them to the fullest. He laid down on one of the small beds, closing his eyes to take stock of where his life had taken him when his PADD dinged with an incoming message. He sighed, he was sure it was just another form letter welcoming him to Starfleet and outlining some list of rules they had already gone over four or five times. He was just about to open the message when to door to the room opened and he was greeted by his new roommate.

Leonard looked up, a little confused, "You're not Bradley." Jim Kirk stood in the doorway with a standard Starfleet issue duffle bag, no doubt filled with the same uniforms that filled Leonards identical bag.

"You didn't get the message? Bradley was unexpectedly reassigned to another room." Jim just smiled his million watt smile as he walked over to the other bed and dropped his bag on top of it.

Leonard grabbed his PADD and sure enough, the message that had just come through wa a notice of roommate change. He laughed to himself, "How'd you manage that one kid?"

"Didn't I ever mention it before? I'm a genius level repeat offender. Don't care much for the rules, or network security."

Leonard stood up from him bed to stand in front of his roommate, "You hacked it?"

"I hacked it." Jim smiled again obviously proud of what he had done. He reached out and grabbed Leonard's coat in his hands, fisting into the material and pulling the older man forward until their lips met.

Abandoning his PADD to the mattress, Leonard grabbed hold of his shoulders, at first to steady himself, but then he pulled Jim further into the bruising kiss, opening his mouth to it, glad to find Jim's tongue pushing it's way in. It was glorious, and with the heat building in his gut, he wanted nothing more than to throw caution to the wind and pin Jim beneath him on his small bed. The moan that escaped Jim's mouth as Leonard rubbed his hardening dick against Jim's was almost too much, and Leonard had to pull back before he came right there in his pants just from the thought of Jim beneath him.

"What happened to 'just friends'?"Leonard spoke the words breathlessly while still nipping at Jim's lips.

"You believed that, I barely was able to convince myself. God, the number of nights I thought about you while I got myself off over the years, it was all I could do not to jump you right there on the shuttle." Jim pushed him down onto Leonards bed, swiping the PADD out of the way and onto the floor with a thud. "You know, if we push these beds together we would be a lot more comfortable." Jim ground down on Leonard as he kissed his way up the man's neck to his ear.

"You're gonna be the death of me kid." his eyes rolled back into his head as he felt Jim's hand undoing his jeans and reaching in for his cock.

"It'll be a hell of a ride though." Jim smiled impishly as he slid down Leonard's body to take him into his mouth leaving Leonard completely unable to respond.


End file.
